Don't go to the Natural History Museum

In Disneyland there is little that is more subversive than a service closet left open exposing a mop and bucket. ~ Mark Dion

As long as I can remember, long before I was interested in art, i've wanted to visit the Natural History Museum. In my mind (influenced by the countless documentaries and films i've seen set in the place) I had imagined an intimidatingly large and academic layout similiar to the V&A or the British Museum. 4 months ago I went with my family as it seemed like a place we could all enjoy, I certainly (desperately) wanted to see it for myself. The main entrance with Darwin's statue atop the stairs was everything I dreamt it to be (i'm an admirer of the Ankylosaurus skeleton in the foyer) and for a fleeting dewy-eyed moment I felt as if I was one the greener side of the fence. It has always sold itself as a place supposedly dedicated to learning and a store house for all relevatory obscura relating to nature and terran life. Once I skipped merrily through the foyer however i'm afraid my overenthusiastic and scarily child like joy was given a surprising kick to the balls.

Basically if you've never been to the NHM i'll expain the buildings layout. A gargatuan entrance (as described above) with about 5 corridors open to the public. All the really interesting stuff apparently isn't on show. It was all interactive dioramas, colourful fact boards aimed at the propeller-beanie wearing demographic, items you could touch - *shudder* - maybe i'm old fashioned. I'll fully admit i'm a pretentious cunt but I hate those sort of museums. I feel like my intelligence is being insulted and that i'm being spoken down to. I saw one display descriptor that read something along the lines of "Ichthyosaur: These are the remains of an Ichthyosaur" - duuuuuuuuh gee thanks! ... It was all a bit to ThinkTank for my liking.

They ought to get Mark Dion to go in and rearrange everything as he sees fit. Let him challenge the audience and open the rest of the bastard museum up! Wunderkammer it up a treat.

An Introduction to Fallen Over